Looking Back

now its already been the 3rd week for my job training..and next week will be my assessment..then suddenly i realize and think how have i live my life all this year..

well..looking back through past this year i guess the me back then has going through a lot..i have been in my final semester early this year and got so much to bear..and also i didn't have a long holidays like i used to when i'm still studying..looking back these past few years i still don't know whether i'm doing the right things all these while..i guess there are so much to improve and change..after completing my study for almost 2 weeks, i'm going through the practical training for 2 months..this is the first time i had experienced a working life..then going back home for about 3 weeks to finish my report and after that going to Shah Alam to submit it..later, i went back to Kuantan and started working at the shop..i did experienced a lot when i'm working here..i've learned new things and gain new experiences..besides that i've met a lot of people with different kind of attitudes..and later i'm going back to Shah Alam for my Convocation and meeting all my friends back there..i only off for 6 days and go back to Kuantan and continue working..

and then about a month later, i go to KL for job interview and started my job training..and now here i am looking back for the past one year thinking how have i live my life until now..sometimes i feel like the training is tough like i wanna give it up already..but then i realize that i should at least finish off what i've already started..i know that i'm the type of person who give up so easily when i feel like i can't take it..i also did the same thing when it comes to love..i tend to give it up and let it go when i feel like i should..not trying hard to defend or protect that relationship, but sometimes i did feel it is just a waste of time..and also wasting my tears for crying a lot about it..

for this new year, i wish that i can start a new life with a new me..i will do anything that i wanna do, go anywhere that i wanna go and be whatever i wanna be..so until then, ja mata ne~akemashite omedetou..

New Life

its been so long..i dunno what should i write here..guess its already been 2 weeks passed since i attended the job training..the first week was so much fun..surprisingly i didn't feel bored and sleepy in the class..hard to believe but its true..i did learned new things and gain new experiences..besides that, i met lots of new people and living a new life here in KL..everything was going so well but lately i've started missing all those faces i love the most..guess i'm still not get used to it..i still feel homesick even though i've been living in Shah Alam for 5 years..well i guess studying and working are too much different life..

sometimes i do miss my life before i'm going to KL..living in my parents' home with my family for my entire life is what i wished for all these while..but apparently, it didn't came true..i know things doesn't always be the way we wanted them to be..i pray if this is the best for me, then i will make it through..but if it doesn't, then there must be something much better for me out there..rite?..thinking so much about home makes me feel miserable..wanted to be with them so badly makes me feel like wanna give up on this job..should i?..well that's sound so childish and immature..guess i should never give up until i try..akiramenaide~i'm hoping that going through these years will physically changed me to a better person..

however, the good things about being here is i can get over that person completely..guess i don't need them anymore..maybe its because there are so much to concentrate to, the drastic changes in life and get to reunite again with my best friends here..i'm really glad to see them again..

i guess that's all for now..i will try harder to adapt with the new life and become a better person..guess i'm an adult now so there's no need to feel down so bad and cry a lot when going through the tough situation..be stronger..gambarimasu..

Sweet Memory

its already the end of November rite?..something came through my mind while thinking of the date today..its only a month left before we reach the year of 2010..this reminds me of the moment that i had with all my friends back in Puncak..i remembered the new year's eve of 2009 we spent together, we're all lepaking in the living room watching Gokusen 3 that nite..then few days after that, we've been busy downloading Johnny's Countdown Concert and watched them together..its still rite here in my mind as always..ohh i really miss that moment..

okay then, enough about the past..talking about the present, something had happened today..it is a good day for me..or should i say great?..yeah..today is a great day for me..just as i wished for all this while..it did came true..it was only a simple and short conversation between us but it makes me smile the whole day as it is already been a long time since i had this feeling..

and after all this happened, it makes me think twice to apply for other jobs..this may sound immature but really it takes me a very long time to click the button 'send' to submit my resume..i did this while thinking of him..its really a tough decision becoz i wanna see him again..but i guess i have to let go for the sake of my own future..at this moment, i just enjoy my youth as long as i still can..and i just wanna say thank u for bringing happiness into my life..i dont know when its all started but all i know is that i'm happy to meet u..

Photograph

Chamang Trip~July 2008

Last nite in Puncak Perdana~May 2009

Edited Version~Reminiscing Memories

Every memory of looking out the back door

I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor

It’s hard to say

It’s time to say it

Goodbye, Goodbye

Every memory of walking out the front door

I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for

It's hard to say

It’s time to say it

Goodbye, Goodbye

I miss that town

I miss their faces

You can’t erase

You can’t replace it

I miss it now

I can’t believe it

So hard to stay

Too hard to leave it

If I could relive those days

I know the one thing that would never change

Look at this photograph

Every time I do it makes me laugh

Every time I do it makes me..~Nickelback - Photograph~

Crush On You

i don't know when its all started..my mind is full with the thoughts of u..

who are u?..i've been waiting for the day that u walk into my life for real..everyday i waited for u but u just didn't showed up..where have u been?..what are u up to?..did everything alright?..i'm wondering..

can i see u again?..i wish i could..i'm still sitting right here waiting for u..every minute, every hour, every day..coz every moment that i had with just looking at u is a precious memory that i made by myself..even if its only for a while..

now i'm asking..what is this feeling?..is it love?..i wish its not, but i feel like it is..and i wish to meet u again..

cherish,
i'm just a girl with the crush on u

says: i should be happy with the life i live and the things i do..seems like i have it all..

Currently

currently watching
1. Buzzer Beat
this drama is so cool..the main actor is Yamashita Tomohisa who is also the leader of NewS..feels like i have fallen for him..kakkoi deshou?..gomen aj..but dont worry, only in the drama and not for real..seriously..hehe..
2. Kanjani8 Puzzle Tour 2009 DVD
this is the concert tour of Kanjani8 for this year to promote their new album 'Puzzle'..i am shocked when i first noticed that their fans already uploaded this dvd becoz i did not know it had been released at the end of last month..its too soon..but thanks a lot to those who had uploaded it even though there was no subtitle on it..i'm still waiting for the subtitled version..

currently listening to
1. Bz' - Ichibutozenbu (Buzzer Beat theme song)
2. Kanjani8 - Ichibyou Kiss
3. SS501 - Because I'm Stupid (Boys Over Flower OST)
4. Big Bang - Last Farewell
5. Kelly Clarkson - Already Gone
6. Taylor Swift - You Belong With Me
7. Miley Cyrus - The Climb
8. Rossa - Hey Ladies

currently doing
1. downloading dvd, drama, songs
2. editing photos
3. thinking about life
4. missing people and reminiscing memories
5. printing, photocopying, binding, laminating
6. meeting new people and talking to strangers
7. playing with my lovely nephews~all grown up now
8. searching and applying for jobs

so how have i been doing?..these are all about my life rite now..nothing much to talk about and i'm really looking forward for the convocation this 26th..i will be leaving Kuantan and off to Shah Alam for 5 days..cant hardly wait to meet all my friends back in Puncak Perdana..miz them so much..aitai yo minna..and also there is so much to tell..until then..ja mata~

Graduation~Goodbye is for the Future

If just one, only one wish could come true
I wonder what would you wish for?
Where are you now? Who are you with now?
I look up at the blue sky and softly ask

With you - you were always by my side, but now you're gone
With you - although we have promised we wouldn't change even if we were apart

If we become a memory
I am no match for the warmth next to you
Unexpectedly troubled by heartbroken sigh
I hope it will fly away so far and reach you

I know I'm no longer in your future
I've finally realized that

For me - you have brought me determination when i was lost
For me - hiding the sorrow in your eyes behind your smile

If we have to say goodbye for now
I mutter to myself, I wish you were here by my side
This miserable feeling cannot be expressed by words
I just wish that this prayer will reach you

I set free my endless emotion to the sky
Even if I'm alone, I'll keep moving on

The cherry blossoms flutter just like that day
Reflecting the light of that bright memories
I send all my love to you in brilliant colours
And with a sad sigh, I hope they will reach you

If we become a memory
I am no match for the warmth next to you
Goodbye is for the future
I hope it will fly away so far and reach you

Tackey & Tsubasa - Sotsugyou~Sayonara wa Ashita no Tame ni~

says: i've just listened to this song last nite and suddenly i feel that i really2 miss the life of a student back in Puncak Perdana..wish i could turn back time but no matter what happened, life must go on..that's i know for sure..

Memories in UiTM Puncak Perdana, Shah Alam

Diploma in Information Management

(June 2004 - May 2007)

Bachelor of Information Resource Center Management

(July 2007 - May 2009)

Practical Training at UiTM Melaka Library, Alor Gajah

(May 2009 - July 2009)

Thinking

i'm checking the latest update on facebook just now..and i've already decided that the reunion for MGPS batch 98 will be held on 7th november 2009..the time and place is just the same..seems like everyone agreed and have no objection at the moment but still need to wait for others to reply too..hope there will be no alteration after this..and hope all of them will be there..aitaku naru ne~

then about my best friend's wedding..should i go or not?..feel a little awkward to go there alone by myself..there's surely lots of my school friends gonna be there too but still feel tak best..those who are closest to me will not gonna make it that day..so dengan sape aku nak lepak2 nanti?..tapi rase serba salah jugak becoz she is one of my best friends..hrmm..let's not think about it now..later i will decide whether i wanna go or not..so that's all for now..my Hiro is getting older today..hope to hear the good news about him later..mata aimashou~

Convocation vs Reunion

hrmm..speaking malay la plak today..hehehe..hari ni macam satu hari yang baik untuk aku..tak tahulah kenape tapi aku rase sangat seronok..tak macam semalam, rasa down and takde mood jek..pas balik keje aku layan budak 2 orang yang sangat2 aku sayangi tu main..rase letih yang amat sangat..pastu terus tertido sampai waktu berbuke..nak makan pun cam tak lalu..kakak aku ni plak buh nasik banyak sangat aku rase..cam tak larat nak habiskan..pas berbuke aku sambung tido balik..dalam sejam lebih camtu aku bangun mandi..pastu terus ngadap tenet cari video nak download..camtu la rutin hidup aku hari2..da siap queue download aku, aku pi dapur cari bende nak dimakan..sib bek abang ipar aku ade wat mi kari..kenyang jugaklah aku malam tadi..hehe..gochisosamadeshita~

pas sahur pagi tadi aku terus usha video2 aku da siap download ke belum..tgk2 banyak lagi tengah queue..takpela, aku sambung tido balik..pastu tepat kul 9.00 pagi aku bangun siap2 nak pergi keje..now aku rase cam da suke lak keje kat kedai tu..tanoshii~budak2 yang datang pun da ok..tak macam sebelum ni..most of them cam kerek jek..tapi aku lagi kerek kot..huhuhu..sebelum ni aku bengang la jugak tapi now da boleh adapt and handle that kind of people..aihh..speaking la plak..kui3..da terbiase taip english so rase janggal nak mengarang dalam malay..perosak bahase jugak aku ni..bkn takat bahase jepun je terbalik..malay aku pun da jadi tunggang terbalik sekarang..'tapi' mesti dok kat belakang..da jadi habit..cakap ngn mak aku pun camtu tapi takde plak die tego..hehehe..

aku baru je cek facebook tadi..ade problem sket..Husna baru je bagitau yang konvo UiTM 15-27 oktober ni..erk?..baru aku perasan..betul la Husna budak library tu ex-schoolmate aku kat MGPS..no wonder muke die cam familiar jek..aku nak tanye mase kat Puncak tu tapi takut salah orang lak..aihh..keciknye dunie ni..tapi..konvo 15-27 oktober?..adeiii..kene postpone la reunion kteorg nampaknye..pening pale aku nak setup tarikh baru..susahnye nak gather sume orang sekali coz rite now masing2 da start busy..tapi takpe..we can do it..

now mase untuk tengok video..hahahahahaha..aku boleh ketawa dan senyum sorang2 tengok video2 tu sume..yela sekarang da takde sape nak tengok video2 tu dengan aku..kawan2 sume da jauh..kalo sebelum ni kami tinggal bersame..tapi takpela da lumrah dunia, setiap pertemuan ade perpisahan..at least sekarang ni aku stay ngn family..someday bile aku da keje tetap, jauh dr family mesti aku lagi sedih..so kene hargai my precious time with them sekarang..okayla..dok mengenang mase yang akan datang tu tibe2 aku rase sebak plak..bek aku layan video dan bergembira..ni aje pengubat kesunyian dan kesedihan aku..hehe..so see you next time..~ja mata~

Daily Lives

recently i've been thinking a lot and it is all about my life..everyday is just the same..i woke up in the morning for sahur and then go back to sleep..then i woke up again and get ready for work..after that i go to work and get back home..sometimes i did feel asleep and then woke up again waiting for time to berbuke..after that i go back to sleep and woke up again in the midnight to take a shower and do my daily activities which are surfing the net, downloading videos and songs, listening to musics, watching videos and movies..then laughing by myself....^_^..no matter how busy i am or how much little time i left everyday, i always spend times for this entertainment even though i did get lack of sleep every night..now it is all about Johnny's Entertainment boys..just name it..NewS, Kanjani8, Hey! Say! JUMP, KAT-TUN, Tackey & Tsubasa, Arashi, V6, TOKIO, A.B.C, Kis-My-Ft2, NYC Boys and lots more..and also not forgetting the guy i love the most in the company, Uchi Hiroki which is the ex-member of NewS and Kanjani8..i wonder what he's been up to till now..kimi ga itsumademo shiawase de arimasu you ni..call me crazy but this has become one of my priority in life..

every night i checked out my facebook to get update of my friends..lately we've been planning to organize a reunion of Methodist Girls Primary School batch of 98..it is going to be held on Saturday, 17th October at McDonald Teluk Chempedak..i guess most of us had already graduated so i hope they all gonna be there..it is already 11 years since we left the primary school..so before we all get busy with working and married life, i do hope we can meet each other once again..however there are still my friends who cant make it becoz they are still studying and there are not here in Malaysia..wow!..kakkoi deshou..studying overseas..i hope someday i can be like them..i do have a dream of pursuing my study in Japan as i wanna go there so badly..but look at myself, i dont think that i can do it..so i'm just planning of going there for a vacation someday..

Mixed Feelings

well..today i guess is the good day for me..i go to work as usual and i feel very2 happy becoz yesterday i've found my best friend at facebook..i guess its a very2 long time since we last met..i've forgotten when was the last time we met each other since i'm too busy wif my life in Shah Alam..can't believe that all this while we've been very close at the same town continuing our study there..other than that, i also found my ex-classmate in MGPS and i feel glad that she still remember me..as long as i remember, the last time we met was when we were both 7 years old i guess and its already past 16 years now..i am shocked and not expected that i'm gonna meet her again..ureshikatta ne~

rite now i realized how this town has brought back my relationship with all my friends here..all these while i haven't been thought that we're gonna meet each other again..thanks also to my best friends back in Puncak who had influenced me to join facebook at that time..you know who you are..*wink*..knowing that this network will get me closer to my friends who have already lost without a single news, internet had already been one of my priority rite now..can't live without it..;p

i feel so relieved becoz despite that i can't let go of the life back in Puncak before this, i've finally found my happiness here..at first i feel lost becoz my life had suddenly changed..but as time passed, i can accept the fact that i don't belong there anymore and this is the place for me..the place where i was born and grew up, and learned so many things about life..so i guess i'm gonna live here for the rest of my life and i wish i could be here forever..

and despite of all the good things happened just now, there were sumthing that makes me very upset last nite..feels like i wanna cry but i've got no more tears to cry..it was when one of my friends said that i've already forgot about my friends becoz rite now i already have my own life..do i?..do tell me if its true..well i guess people tends to accuse others rather than asking first what had already happened before..i do get hurt myself and nobody knows it but me..why should i remember people who do not remember me?..and if you really and truly cares about your friends, then go and ask them by yourself..you dunno what i'm going through rite now so just cut the crap..and your words break my heart even though you never mean it..i hope you do realize that i am a human with feelings..

now i realized that friends do come and go..we're not gonna be together forever..someday we will fall apart and going our separate ways..that's how i've been up until now and how i'll be from now on..meeting and parting is repeated hundreds of times but the memories are still here rite in my mind..

so that's all for now..i've just started writing again after haven't been doing it for almost a year i guess..can't remember the exact date coz i've been deleting my blog before..i wanted to erase all the memories that gave me so much pain, tears and lots of pressure which was the mistake i dont want to repeat..but rite now i've started writing again seems that there are many good things happened in my life..so until then~ja mata~

Without You~From the Heart

So many days have passed

And so many memories we've shared
After all the tough times we have made it through..
We can't go back to the time when we were still together
Now all I can do is reminiscing our memories
Should I laugh or should I cry?
I still don't know..

All I know is that I'm glad we met that sometimes I'm moved to tears
Tears of happiness for having met friend like you
And tears of sadness for being apart from each other
But that is what we called a life..
Met and separated
Even though we are far away from each other
Our firm bond won't break..

I know the day has come
Where we are going separate ways and live a different life
But no matter what happen, there is one thing for sure
You will always be in my heart
As my precious friends that can never be replaced..

~THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING AND ALL THE BEST FOR YOUR FUTURE UNDERTAKINGS~

"di sini jua memori tercipta..walau seketika terjalin kasih kita..
mungkin di sini kita kan terpisah..kenangan bersama tiada kulupa.."

Memories of UiTM Puncak Perdana (June 2004 - May 2009)